listen to my scream and rant about things i dont like or just things i like (its more complaining)
RETURN TO INDEX!!!
TW? : this is a blog and my 6/17/2026 blog talks about some pretty heavy things. if you dont like heavy stuff, i would say to skip that one. other than that, i think my blog is pretty wholesome. (for the tw's on that post, grooming. as far as i can recall from my typing and almost meltdown mid typing)
7/1/2026
HAPPY DISABILTY PRIDE MONTH!!
in honor of disabilty pride month, im gonna touch up a topic i saw on a tumblr blog post that i didnt read all the way but i feel is a blaring issue.
for alot of the armless, legless, limbless objects, i feel like alot of people get rid of it. of course, i know its much easier to give her humanifed objects limbs and stylize it. but in a way, isn't that erasing exposure to disabled people who dont have limbs? armless people have to find a way to work around with their disabilty since of course, they dont have arms. of course, if they had the money they could always get fake arms. which is why im not as bothered (still slightly am but... better than just giving them arms) if they were given fake/robot limbs. but this is a blaring issue i notice.
i feel its the same and a big issue for one. i seen maybe only 3 humanifed ones that DONT have arms. that shows how rare it is. she is the only number without arms, and instead of finding way to work around this when making humanifed version of ones alot of people just give her arms. i like to see when people give her like transparent arms since she does use her powers to help her with things, but then there are people that just... give her arms.
there isn't much to say other than me sounding like "WAHHH!!! Y-YOU CANT DO THAT CUZ THEY DONT HAVE [SO SO] IN THE S-SHOW!!" i just feel like it would be cool to see more things like that, disabled people already barely get exposure other than "dont make fun of them just for the way they are!" like say for lighting, you could keep his arms, but you dont HAVE to put him in a wheel chair. you can give him wings for example! or with bell, maybe fake arms, and a old styled wheel chair or something like that. you could find so many ways to fill in the gaps while still keeping the disabled in them.
of course, im not really disabled in any shape or form. (other than this one thing i used to have when i was 2 and i would be losing alot of hair at a alarming rate). but, i feel this needs to be said a little more. i feel like with golfball and tennisball the issue of just giving them arms has calmed down... but i still feel that is a blaring issue.
of course, you are always welcome to do whatever you want with how you think they would look if human but, i would love to see more of that limbless things in the humanifed desgins, i personally think they're really cool when i see them.
6/17/2026. 2:44am.
a fav game of mine is the single scarlet poppy in a field of stars, its right next to undertale for me (and a few other games that i can never list of for some reason i try.) oh my god. it reminded me why i wanted to make a game in the first place. i started to play it at 2:33am or 12 mintues as of righting this rn (2:45 am) and.. it just reminded me. why i really want to aspire to make a game. it was made by FeaturedButter, and as the bio reads "his game is based off of my time during my diagnosis of my chronic disease and the hospital. its possible there might be some themes that could trigger a few people so please be wary of that! much love."
i.. dont really know what to say. i know this may come off as dramatic but i reached clover world and every other world and it just... reminded me so much as to why this game is the main inspo i really wanted to make a game. it all started with a moth oc... then i playyed this game.. then it spirled into everything else. i always havn't been the most creative person, relaying on heavy inspo for things so to try to fix this i form my own weak idea's and see if i can improve on them as i play more things and try to gather more things to think of. the lore for the first idea of a game i wanted to make was a moth oc who had a butterfly brother, who had killed her. stuck in a endless loop is forever dreams, trying to seek the truth of where she came from and why she feel's in the loop only to find the truth. i never really built more onto that after.. i gave up on it. i was trying to make the game on scratch, so of course it wouldn't work. along with that, the lore was very messy. i named my moth oc mothria. then she turned into cattie, still her just.. cat. i gave her some friends, the lore still messy tho and i never had a clear sight of what i was doing i just... got rid of her.
jan 30. as mentioned on my about me this is around the time i got into bfdi. the same day that... i had my theater show. and few days after i left him. my groomer. compared to others mine was rather tame he just... got romanticly feelings for me. i never felt the same for him but i looked up to him as a guardian figure since he was try so much for me during my ups and downs and one of the only people that were there for me to comfort me which is why during when i was with him i tried to be online as much as i could and faked my feelings for him too until i broke because i knew how wrong it was and how i knew that at some point this would all crack. thankfully this came to a end. after that, after leaving him i should say, i never hald movations to keep making a game. where to go now? he was making a game too (of course on roblox) and i just.. gave up after that. i really had no inspo for anything. or movation. i tried to just.. keep going and making this website helped me to get my footing and actually managed to make me happier faster and back to normal. although all my friends from the friend group he brought me in had basically all left me since my family that found out about this had blocked him and gave no word, im guessing he told everyone and they all blocked me too. 2 didnt block me tho, i tried to join one of them but she left and then unfriended me. after that i didn't try again.
its 2:54am as of writing this now. i got a bit carried away. other than the single scarlet poppy in a field of stars i did also want to make a game because of him. i thought it was cool and i wanted to be cool too since at the time i was a bit bullied in 7th grade my art style was still new for me and i was not great at art as i am now (Even if im still mid at it.) and as said, after leaving him i had no movation. till i started to try again and fell in love with the idea of having a game. but... what to make a game for? every game had a reason for it to be made big or small, i felt i had no reason tho. so of course i was stuck i wanted to make one like dream game on roblox but how to make it different? what story do i give it?
i soon landed on what life felt like after leaving him. since, my only source of people i could talk to was my irl friends, we only really talked in school and other than that i never really left my house because i just.. dont like the outside.
after a while i stopped working on my game because i couldn't find a way to make it different from all the idea's i had from dream game and "the single scarlet poppy in a field of stars." and i havn't playyed it in a while so, i picked it up again. and.. i think im gonna try to keep going. i reached clover world before i started to tear up for some reason. everything is like something i would wish for a world of my own where i could travel freely and just hide from everything everything that im scared of im scared of the real world please just hide me... this game breaks something in me i dont know how it just makes me so happy inside yet so sad. something so creative it makes you wonder how could someone even be this creative!
im still going for the idea of how life felt like after leaving him. i hope that in the end if i ever do keep going with this game and dont give up again, it looks good. and it is good.
3am now right now. and. i hope you guys all have a great day. toodles..
6/1/2026
happy pride month. in honor of it, im coming out and sayyimg im a demi-romantic !! ^_^
be proud for who you are!
also in honor of pride month, i shall be spreading the word of the possible lgbtq+ repersation in bfdi. (this may not true... although i have a major obbession with bfdi, i dont know everything..)
gaty is a transgender, this is told threw tpot ep 2 when she was talking to two and said she got to pick her girlness. HOWEVER!! this is a popular headcanon. the Jacknjellify crew has yet to say if she is really trans or not.
wiki's word (please keep in mind this is on fandom and can be changed by anyone. also you may need to scroll a little to see the fun fact)
EVERYTHING ALGERBLARIN IS AGENDER!! this is said in bfb when leafy was talking to four about why pencil was whinning about 'boys' and then said basically she only likes women (this is in MY WORDS this could be very chopped up and broken down) and four said, "we dont have that where im from."
two is a they/them. i feel like this needs to be said more... look at their pronouns box... they have 2 notes for it.
a image of a post Jacknjellify made for the trans day of visbility! two can be seen on tv's screen with the non-binary flag behind them.
winner is also a they/them!
it says on the wiki that sticker is non-binary, with pronouns of he/him, she/her, and they/them.
price tag is a non-binary with they/them pronouns.
beach ball is also a they/them-er!
profily is also a they/them-er! (i actually didnt know this till i checked the lgbtq+ tag in the wiki
5/26/2026
i think i broke one of my toes... whatever.
im on summer break now! four-shrine has alot of its pages done and i want to remake exit. since it was the first hand coded page i made, and its a bit... eh.. ugly. anyways after hours and months of grinding on dandys world i got vee. :3 i almost broke my voice on phighting... ladydeathflower (my neocities/nekoweb site) is made and my soul was sold the devil/j/j/jj/j/j/j/j//jokinh
idk what else to say.
5/22/2026
i keep having the most deppersing dreams ever what is going on i keep getting like theese sad yet silly dreams and i been more likely to cry at random things am i ok tf is going on oh also i been obbessing with leafy now, i still love four im just a big leafy fan now. i really want to dream every night when im in the world of bfdi, just hanging out with everyone. and it starts off wherever it left off! why cant i dream like that? does it always have to be sad and emo? Maybe im going deppersed?? i dont know?? i keep crying in my dreams too. its really weird. I should maybe tell my family about this... its also been weirdly around my dad too, i think its because he got surgery on his heart and i have not seen him in months and i been missing him but im really worried he might die because of this surgery he got. idk. my mind is really all over the place. also i somehow got art block because i have not been drawing lately...
5/6/2026
im tired, theater lately hasn't been going well for me. After school been requried this week but the problem is we have to stay till 8pm. my mom isn't letting me go, but she's sayying she can come and pick me up on firday the day before my play. But, good news is that i have been learning javascript and c# more often. school's coming to a end, so. benfits. no dreams lately... although i have been wondering what is likes to 'shift.' (basically lucid dreaming but you want to, i think. and its into a new world! i think one of my ex-friends were a shifter, but it ended badly... uh...) this is because i kinda want to go to shift to bfdi.,.... but only when im dreaming!! so that way i won't look crazy if i ever do it awake if thats even possible idk im still new to the whole idea
4/23/2026
i forgot my blog exitsed... oops... uh... anyways. i kinda forgot what i wsnted to write sooo whatever
4/16/2026
i lost my laptop :( idk where it went... right now im writing this via pc i dont relize how much things look so goofy on a bigger screen. oh well, im not gonna bother trying to fix it....
4/8/2026
i needed to write about this, but last nights dream i had was weird and like, really sad. I dont remeber how it started, im pretty sure i made a wish in the dream to start my life over from kindergarten. and starting from kindergarten (more first grade but), my school lay outs was built like my pre-school's, i had my childhood friends there (and some of my current friends for some reason) and we were talking, and they were bringing to places and everytime i couldn't help but just feel sad, because for some reason i still remebered everything. im pretty sure i mentioned to one of the kids there about it-for some reason they responded that they believed me. idk. it feels weird to think about it, but i kinda like it. which i am currently rewriting my oc's lore... maybe i can spin this dream to something like this. or make new oc's! (i'll still keep my current ones :P )
4/7/2026
YAY!!! i got my blog in full speed >:3 it took less time than making exit, but im proud of it!!!
also... uh... i commented to much on my neocities profile so i can respond to comments for a while... hulp... also idk why but the align thing wasn't working even tho i was doing it correctly soooo bruh
